Happiness

[V*nessa]

Just sharing something I found really useful about living in the present and
being happy.


MANAGING THINKING
1. Identify your self talk (thinking, beliefs, expectations) that lead to
anxiety, depression, anger, shame etc.

At the end of the day, think about if you have felt any of the above.
If yes, for each of those feelings, write down what was happening before you
had that feeling and what your self-talk was after that happened:

= what thoughts went through your mind after the event?
= Why did that event cause you distress? What did that event mean to you?
What did it say about you, or the people in your life, or what is happening
in your life?
= If you can't remember what you were thinking - take your best guess: what
must you have thought about that event to make you feel that way about it?

2 - Explore your self talk further and see if there is a more complex way of
thinking. Ask yourself these questions:
a. Is it true? Is this way of thinking helping me to reach my goals and live
by my values?
= Is it always true?
= What is the evidence for this?
= Are there times when it's different or has been different?
= Is there a different way of thinking about this? * be wary of black &
white thinking (rigid thinking, extremes), 'shoulds', 'musts', 'always',
'never', 'can't'
= Is it more complicated than this?
= Are there different possibilities / outcomes?
= Is this the only way to think about it?
= Is this how I would advise my friends/partner/family to think about
themselves?
= How does this help me to achieve my goals? How does it motivate me or help
me to make change?
= How does this help me to live by my values? How does it help me to comfort
myself, to know myself well, to be confident, to be responsible, to make
decisions, to get information, to get help/support?

b. If the answer is still YES what's so bad about that? Can I cope with it?
What can I control? What can I do about it?
= How have I coped with difficult times in the past?
= What are the things I do well (strengths), and the things I'm not good at?
= What are the supports I have? Friends, family, sports, hobbies, GP, etc.
= What are the other areas of my life that are going ok and help me to feel
good about myself and my life?
= What can I do? What are my options? What can I control?
= If the worst happens, what's plan B?
= If I'm still feeling stuck - do I benefit from being stuck? How does this
way of thinking help me? Does it protect me from something?

[Sheldon]

Thanks, Vanessa.