testtest

Hi, Mary. See your post. How are you?
smiles,
Elise

Post by Mary
thsiisiisis
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Mary

2011-03-15 21:25:01 UTC

Post by weeks
Hi, Mary. See your post. How are you?
smiles,
Elise

Post by Mary
thsiisiisis

Thanks Elise. Actually, I didn't mean to post my test message here. I meant
to post it to alt.test. I wasn't able to access my mail last night on
Outlook Express, because of a mixup when I changed my password on webmail
because it wouldn't accept my password for some strange reason.

I have had a hard time for months with a huge amount of anxiety and
depression. My brother in his 60's died last November, and I might have
mentioned here last year, that his wife, my sister in law, died suddenly and
unexpectedly last June of heart failure. She was in her mid 60's. She had
heart problems for years but lived a pretty normal life. She took several
medications and was quite
high functioning. But suddenly she became ill and died suddenly. No one
expected it. My brother was in a Chronic care home for 4 years after falling
down some stairs in his house, hit his head and got a brain injury, and was
not able to walk any more and not much physiotherapy, so he ended up in a
wheel chair.. He understood what was said but had trouble talking. He was
much changed from what he was. I'm sure he missed his wife terribly. The
whole thing was so sad, it affected me greatly. It will be quite a long
time till I recover. I was close to my brother and his wife.

They have a son in his early 30's who was overwhelmed. He had not visited
his father often, so I had to visit my brother more often that I did before,
and talk to the nurses about my brother's health issues. My brother had
breathing problems in October, and was in hospital for 6 weeks. He was
getting better but got an infection and was not able to fight it off. I did
what I had to do but became ill myself after it was all over, but just after
Christmas came down with bronchitis, then a sinus infection. All caused from
anxiety and depression I was under for months. I am still very run down and
exhausted all the time which depresses me. It will take me a long time to
recover strength.

I hope things have been going OK with you.

Mary

V*nessa

2011-03-16 08:46:53 UTC

Post by weeks
Hi, Mary. See your post. How are you?
smiles,
Elise

Post by Mary
thsiisiisis

Thanks Elise. Actually, I didn't mean to post my test message here. I
meant to post it to alt.test. I wasn't able to access my mail last night
on Outlook Express, because of a mixup when I changed my password on
webmail because it wouldn't accept my password for some strange reason.
I have had a hard time for months with a huge amount of anxiety and
depression. My brother in his 60's died last November, and I might have
mentioned here last year, that his wife, my sister in law, died suddenly
and unexpectedly last June of heart failure. She was in her mid 60's. She
had heart problems for years but lived a pretty normal life. She took
several medications and was quite
high functioning. But suddenly she became ill and died suddenly. No one
expected it. My brother was in a Chronic care home for 4 years after
falling down some stairs in his house, hit his head and got a brain
injury, and was not able to walk any more and not much physiotherapy, so
he ended up in a wheel chair.. He understood what was said but had trouble
talking. He was much changed from what he was. I'm sure he missed his wife
terribly. The whole thing was so sad, it affected me greatly. It will be
quite a long time till I recover. I was close to my brother and his wife.
They have a son in his early 30's who was overwhelmed. He had not visited
his father often, so I had to visit my brother more often that I did
before, and talk to the nurses about my brother's health issues. My
brother had breathing problems in October, and was in hospital for 6
weeks. He was getting better but got an infection and was not able to
fight it off. I did what I had to do but became ill myself after it was
all over, but just after Christmas came down with bronchitis, then a sinus
infection. All caused from anxiety and depression I was under for months.
I am still very run down and exhausted all the time which depresses me. It
will take me a long time to recover strength.
I hope things have been going OK with you.
Mary

oh Mary how terribly sad. I knew about your sister-in-law's sudden death and
the impact this had on you. I remember how much turmoil and hardship you
were facing as your brother's primary caregiver. But I somehow missed that
your brother died. I'm so sorry for your loss Mary and please accept my
condolences. You've had a tragic and difficult time this past year. I'm not
surprised it's had a big impact on your health both physical and mental. I
hope you've started on the road to recovery.

I've had some trouble getting to work each day this past month but this week
was my best week (not perfect but lots better).

Take care

V :)

Mary

2011-03-16 22:19:14 UTC

Post by Mary
Thanks Elise. Actually, I didn't mean to post my test message here. I
meant to post it to alt.test. I wasn't able to access my mail last night
on Outlook Express, because of a mixup when I changed my password on
webmail because it wouldn't accept my password for some strange reason.
They have a son in his early 30's who was overwhelmed. He had not visited
his father often, so I had to visit my brother more often that I did
before, and talk to the nurses about my brother's health issues. My
brother had breathing problems in October, and was in hospital for 6
weeks. He was getting better but got an infection and was not able to
fight it off. I did what I had to do but became ill myself after it was
all over, but just after Christmas came down with bronchitis, then a
sinus infection. All caused from anxiety and depression I was under for
months. I am still very run down and exhausted all the time which
depresses me. It will take me a long time to recover strength.
I hope things have been going OK with you.
Mary

oh Mary how terribly sad. I knew about your sister-in-law's sudden death
and the impact this had on you. I remember how much turmoil and hardship
you were facing as your brother's primary caregiver. But I somehow missed
that your brother died. I'm so sorry for your loss Mary and please accept
my condolences. You've had a tragic and difficult time this past year. I'm
not surprised it's had a big impact on your health both physical and
mental. I hope you've started on the road to recovery.

Thanks Vanessa. Most of last year was a disaster. I may not have mentioned
about my brother's death here. It was very hard to talk about. I was already
stressed out after my sister in law died last June, and things went downhill
after that. My SIL was a great person, a great loss. My nephew had legal
rights to my brother's care but had rarely visited his father in the chronic
care home. I soon realized that he seemed to have a severe phobia about
visiting his father and/or about visiting hospitals or nursing homes
which I did not know about. Because I visited my brother every 2-3 few
weeks for the 4 years he was in the home, I knew his health issues and
medical history and was always in close contact with my SIL. But before my
SIL died, my nephew did not need to take any responsibility about anything
in fact, because he didn't have to.

My SIL was the legal rep. as far as medical permissions, though I had a lot
of input to the nurses. After my sister in law died, I had to talk to the
nurses more but my nephew was in charge of financial end of my brothers care
and some other things I ended up having to do. At that time, I felt very
resentful (which is not good for you either) that he was not the help I
thought he was going to be. I was pretty well on my own as far as that goes.
Even when I phoned my nephew, he wouldn't phone back and I would have to
phone the next day. It became obvious he tried to avoid me. I think the
whole thing was too much for him and having to deal with his mother's sudden
death 5 months before. He was close to his mother. I was overwhelmed too,
but somebody had to do it, but my anxiety was high every day all day from
that point on till not very long ago. You do what you have to do, but it
takes its toll. Now the events of the past year are catching up with me, and
I get very depressed about everything that has happened. I hope as more time
passes, I will recover more fully.

Post by V*nessa
I've had some trouble getting to work each day this past month but this
week was my best week (not perfect but lots better).
Take care

I am glad to hear you are doing OK Vanessa. I always remember you being the
the first person here who answered one of my very first messages and you
were so nice. I lurked for about a year before that, but never posted. Elise
posted a message to me a little while after, then Jackie and others later
People here have always been very nice.

Mary

V*nessa

2011-03-17 21:19:14 UTC

Post by Mary
Thanks Elise. Actually, I didn't mean to post my test message here. I
meant to post it to alt.test. I wasn't able to access my mail last night
on Outlook Express, because of a mixup when I changed my password on
webmail because it wouldn't accept my password for some strange reason.
They have a son in his early 30's who was overwhelmed. He had not
visited his father often, so I had to visit my brother more often that I
did before, and talk to the nurses about my brother's health issues. My
brother had breathing problems in October, and was in hospital for 6
weeks. He was getting better but got an infection and was not able to
fight it off. I did what I had to do but became ill myself after it was
all over, but just after Christmas came down with bronchitis, then a
sinus infection. All caused from anxiety and depression I was under for
months. I am still very run down and exhausted all the time which
depresses me. It will take me a long time to recover strength.
I hope things have been going OK with you.
Mary

oh Mary how terribly sad. I knew about your sister-in-law's sudden death
and the impact this had on you. I remember how much turmoil and hardship
you were facing as your brother's primary caregiver. But I somehow missed
that your brother died. I'm so sorry for your loss Mary and please accept
my condolences. You've had a tragic and difficult time this past year.
I'm not surprised it's had a big impact on your health both physical and
mental. I hope you've started on the road to recovery.

Thanks Vanessa. Most of last year was a disaster. I may not have mentioned
about my brother's death here. It was very hard to talk about. I was
already stressed out after my sister in law died last June, and things
went downhill after that. My SIL was a great person, a great loss. My
nephew had legal rights to my brother's care but had rarely visited his
father in the chronic care home. I soon realized that he seemed to have a
severe phobia about visiting his father and/or about visiting hospitals or
nursing homes
which I did not know about. Because I visited my brother every 2-3 few
weeks for the 4 years he was in the home, I knew his health issues and
medical history and was always in close contact with my SIL. But before my
SIL died, my nephew did not need to take any responsibility about anything
in fact, because he didn't have to.
My SIL was the legal rep. as far as medical permissions, though I had a
lot of input to the nurses. After my sister in law died, I had to talk to
the nurses more but my nephew was in charge of financial end of my
brothers care and some other things I ended up having to do. At that time,
I felt very resentful (which is not good for you either) that he was not
the help I thought he was going to be. I was pretty well on my own as far
as that goes. Even when I phoned my nephew, he wouldn't phone back and I
would have to phone the next day. It became obvious he tried to avoid me.
I think the whole thing was too much for him and having to deal with his
mother's sudden death 5 months before. He was close to his mother. I was
overwhelmed too, but somebody had to do it, but my anxiety was high every
day all day from that point on till not very long ago. You do what you
have to do, but it takes its toll. Now the events of the past year are
catching up with me, and I get very depressed about everything that has
happened. I hope as more time passes, I will recover more fully.

It's a good sign that you can start to talk about your brother's death now.
Expressing your grief, anger, frustration, sadness etc is good. You are very
understanding about your nephew. You have so many reasons to be extremelly
resentful but you are doing really well to try and understand things from
his perspective. It shows just how strong you really have been... you did
what your nephew couldn't! Even though you say you had to do it and you're
now paying for it... you DID do it. You followed through and am sure your
brother and SIL would be proud of you! You will recover. It will take time
but you are resilient. Take care as you now need to slowly mend.

Post by V*nessa
I've had some trouble getting to work each day this past month but this
week was my best week (not perfect but lots better).
Take care

I am glad to hear you are doing OK Vanessa. I always remember you being
the the first person here who answered one of my very first messages and
you were so nice. I lurked for about a year before that, but never posted.
Elise posted a message to me a little while after, then Jackie and others
later People here have always been very nice.
Mary

Thanks :) I remember your first posts here and our conversations about
Canada and my husbands relatives that live there.

V :)

Mary

2011-03-18 03:44:54 UTC

<snip>

Post by Mary
as that goes. Even when I phoned my nephew, he wouldn't phone back and I
would have to phone the next day. It became obvious he tried to avoid me.
I think the whole thing was too much for him and having to deal with his
mother's sudden death 5 months before. He was close to his mother. I was
overwhelmed too, but somebody had to do it, but my anxiety was high every
day all day from that point on till not very long ago. You do what you
have to do, but it takes its toll. Now the events of the past year are
catching up with me, and I get very depressed about everything that has
happened. I hope as more time passes, I will recover more fully.

It's a good sign that you can start to talk about your brother's death now.

Actually, I have talked about most things about his death to people close to
me, my grown up children and my doctor who is also my counsellor, but there
are a few things I still cannot talk about as its still too painful. Some
things we experience we never do tell anyone.

Post by V*nessa
Expressing your grief, anger, frustration, sadness etc is good. You are
very understanding about your nephew. You have so many reasons to be
extremelly resentful but you are doing really well to try and understand
things from his perspective. It shows just how strong you really have
been... you did what your nephew couldn't! Even though you say you had to
do it and you're now paying for it... you DID do it. You followed through
and am sure your brother and SIL would be proud of you! You will recover.
It will take time but you are resilient. Take care as you now need to
slowly mend.

I do still feel resentful about my nephew, but I needed to try to find some
explanation within myself to be able to deal with his reluctance to do
things he should have and not left me to do them. He was ok about business
things but when it came to things like talking to the nurses which he had
trouble doing, he left it to me when he could. But he had to make a few
medical tests he did not tell me about, but I found out when I visited my
brother and also I phoned the hospital a few times a week. I wasn't too
upset about tests that had to be done, but my nephew made one important
medical decision he did not tell me about, which I found out 3 days later
when I phoned the hospital. Though he was not obligated to tell me, I think
he was morally obligated and should have told me so I wouldn't be as shocked
as I was. He just was not able to face the whole situation which caused huge
problems between him and me. I was taught duty and responsibility, but what
if someone just can't handle it?

I really didn't know much about him before having to deal with him. I mainly
only saw him when he was a kid. When he was older, he always seemed to be
out when I visited them. He has pretty well destroyed any hope of a
relationship with me. But you're right Vanessa, my brother and SIL would be
proud of the things I did, but after all, it was my brother, and he was in a
bad state, and I kept thinking about our mother and my older brother and
sister, and they would have wanted me to do what I did. But I still can't
help but think, if my nephew had been supportive, I would not have become so
run down.

It will take me a a long time to slowly mend. I don't handle losses very
well. It takes me much longer than other people.

Post by V*nessa
I've had some trouble getting to work each day this past month but this
week was my best week (not perfect but lots better).
Take care

I am glad to hear you are doing OK Vanessa. I always remember you being
the the first person here who answered one of my very first messages and
you were so nice. I lurked for about a year before that, but never
posted. Elise posted a message to me a little while after, then Jackie
and others later People here have always been very nice.
Mary

Thanks :) I remember your first posts here and our conversations about
Canada and my husbands relatives that live there.

Yes, about your husband's relative in Ajax. I go through the main street of
Ajax when I drive to my daughters house. She lives east of Ajax. Thanks for
your kind thoughts and support Vanessa. I will get there slow but sure.

Mary

Tennessee Tony

2011-03-25 13:34:03 UTC

Post by Mary
<snip>

Post by Mary
as that goes. Even when I phoned my nephew, he wouldn't phone back
and I would have to phone the next day. It became obvious he tried to
avoid me. I think the whole thing was too much for him and having to
deal with his mother's sudden death 5 months before. He was close to
his mother. I was overwhelmed too, but somebody had to do it, but my
anxiety was high every day all day from that point on till not very
long ago. You do what you have to do, but it takes its toll. Now the
events of the past year are catching up with me, and I get very
depressed about everything that has happened. I hope as more time
passes, I will recover more fully.

It's a good sign that you can start to talk about your brother's death now.

Actually, I have talked about most things about his death to people
close to me, my grown up children and my doctor who is also my
counsellor, but there are a few things I still cannot talk about as its
still too painful. Some things we experience we never do tell anyone.

Post by V*nessa
Expressing your grief, anger, frustration, sadness etc is good. You
are very understanding about your nephew. You have so many reasons to
be extremelly resentful but you are doing really well to try and
understand things from his perspective. It shows just how strong you
really have been... you did what your nephew couldn't! Even though you
say you had to do it and you're now paying for it... you DID do it.
You followed through and am sure your brother and SIL would be proud
of you! You will recover. It will take time but you are resilient.
Take care as you now need to slowly mend.

I do still feel resentful about my nephew, but I needed to try to find
some explanation within myself to be able to deal with his reluctance to
do things he should have and not left me to do them. He was ok about
business things but when it came to things like talking to the nurses
which he had trouble doing, he left it to me when he could. But he had
to make a few medical tests he did not tell me about, but I found out
when I visited my brother and also I phoned the hospital a few times a
week. I wasn't too upset about tests that had to be done, but my nephew
made one important medical decision he did not tell me about, which I
found out 3 days later when I phoned the hospital. Though he was not
obligated to tell me, I think he was morally obligated and should have
told me so I wouldn't be as shocked as I was. He just was not able to
face the whole situation which caused huge problems between him and me.
I was taught duty and responsibility, but what if someone just can't
handle it?
I really didn't know much about him before having to deal with him. I
mainly only saw him when he was a kid. When he was older, he always
seemed to be out when I visited them. He has pretty well destroyed any
hope of a relationship with me. But you're right Vanessa, my brother and
SIL would be proud of the things I did, but after all, it was my
brother, and he was in a bad state, and I kept thinking about our mother
and my older brother and sister, and they would have wanted me to do
what I did. But I still can't help but think, if my nephew had been
supportive, I would not have become so run down.
It will take me a a long time to slowly mend. I don't handle losses very
well. It takes me much longer than other people.

Post by V*nessa
I've had some trouble getting to work each day this past month but
this week was my best week (not perfect but lots better).
Take care

I am glad to hear you are doing OK Vanessa. I always remember you
being the the first person here who answered one of my very first
messages and you were so nice. I lurked for about a year before that,
but never posted. Elise posted a message to me a little while after,
then Jackie and others later People here have always been very nice.
Mary

Thanks :) I remember your first posts here and our conversations about
Canada and my husbands relatives that live there.

Yes, about your husband's relative in Ajax. I go through the main street
of Ajax when I drive to my daughters house. She lives east of Ajax.
Thanks for your kind thoughts and support Vanessa. I will get there slow
but sure.
Mary

Sorry to hear of your bad news. Wishing you the best.

Tono

Mary

2011-03-25 22:25:48 UTC

Post by Tennessee Tony
Sorry to hear of your bad news. Wishing you the best.

Tono

Hi Tony,

Thank you for your kind thoughts.

Mary

weeks

2011-03-19 13:46:15 UTC

Mary,
I'm sorry to hear about all that has gone on in your life. I do remember
you saying your SIL had died unexpectedly. You must be exhausted from all
that has transpired. I'm very sorry you are going through all of this loss
and grief. It does take time to recover from losses in our lives. You did
"good" on your brother's behalf. He was fortunate to have you as his
sister. Please vent whenever you feel the need. We are always here for
you.
((((((Mary))))))
smiles,
Elise

Post by weeks
Hi, Mary. See your post. How are you?
smiles,
Elise

Post by Mary
thsiisiisis

Thanks Elise. Actually, I didn't mean to post my test message here. I
meant to post it to alt.test. I wasn't able to access my mail last night
on Outlook Express, because of a mixup when I changed my password on
webmail because it wouldn't accept my password for some strange reason.
I have had a hard time for months with a huge amount of anxiety and
depression. My brother in his 60's died last November, and I might have
mentioned here last year, that his wife, my sister in law, died suddenly
and unexpectedly last June of heart failure. She was in her mid 60's. She
had heart problems for years but lived a pretty normal life. She took
several medications and was quite
high functioning. But suddenly she became ill and died suddenly. No one
expected it. My brother was in a Chronic care home for 4 years after
falling down some stairs in his house, hit his head and got a brain
injury, and was not able to walk any more and not much physiotherapy, so
he ended up in a wheel chair.. He understood what was said but had trouble
talking. He was much changed from what he was. I'm sure he missed his wife
terribly. The whole thing was so sad, it affected me greatly. It will be
quite a long time till I recover. I was close to my brother and his wife.
They have a son in his early 30's who was overwhelmed. He had not visited
his father often, so I had to visit my brother more often that I did
before, and talk to the nurses about my brother's health issues. My
brother had breathing problems in October, and was in hospital for 6
weeks. He was getting better but got an infection and was not able to
fight it off. I did what I had to do but became ill myself after it was
all over, but just after Christmas came down with bronchitis, then a sinus
infection. All caused from anxiety and depression I was under for months.
I am still very run down and exhausted all the time which depresses me. It
will take me a long time to recover strength.
I hope things have been going OK with you.
Mary
--
========== Please DELETE this text block when replying! ==========
The charter is available at: http://readystump.algebra.com/~asapm
========= This notice is added to each approved article ==========

Mary

2011-03-19 20:50:43 UTC