Ruminating & obsessing

[Info]

I'm looking for online support groups to help me deal with constant
ruminating. Here's the first message I'm posting to
http://ocpd.freeforums.org/index.php and will try others as well. Comments?

My obsession is limited to my health problems and the medical profession. I
have no rituals, I do not count and I can walk away from incomplete work
(though I'd rather not if I can avoid it) without "losing it." I do have a
penchant for using correct grammar & spelling in part because I went to
private school but I will not correct someone else's unless asked to nor
will I object to talking or emailing others because of their mistakes. I'll
notice them, but it won't affect my dealing with them.

I'm constantly ruminating and it is driving me nuts. I am not a danger to
myself in any way because of my obsession.

A few days ago I started and will not try (hard enough) to stop, to revisit
something a therapist said, He told me that I have OCPD and that "we(the
HMO) don't have the resources to treat it."

I then searched the Web and found a local group for OCPD. I wrote the HMO
that, given how easy it was to find this resource, I had to conclude that he
didn't look for it. I didn't cuss or question his integrity. The next &
last time I saw him he said, "I can't tell you about a treatment method if
you don't tell me you want it." That is the comment that I'm ruminating
about now. I believe that he was being defensive about being criticized
because he told me about symptom inducement and I hadn't asked him about it.
He is (was ) full of crap. Because of the depth and breadth of my health
problems, I cannot afford anything but the HMO for long-term care. I've
been outside of it a couple times, but without much success on the psych
side. I have no tolerance for people I need to not try to do something that
common sense shows that they can. None at all. I want to email him and
point out that inconsistency and - his refusal to own his behavior -- to
him. Why? Anger, the vague suspicion that it would make me feel better,
but I know it wouldn't

I've obsessed my entire life but it's never been incapacitating or about a
specific thing or behavior. I am very analytical, have a very active mind
and chew on things from time to time. My returning to the therapist's
comment is a function of despair, anger and coming off another surgery. I
don't know how to stop and as my wife said of her obsessing, "Yes, but it's
so satisfying." I don't like being told that I have a personality disorder,
but, if I do, I do. My first reaction to that diagnosis was a mistake, that
it diminished the degree of what I have to deal with. Clearly it doesn't.


Questions, comments, whatever.. Thanks

[Sheldon]

Post by Info
I'm looking for online support groups to help me deal with constant
ruminating. Here's the first message I'm posting to
http://ocpd.freeforums.org/index.php and will try others as well. Comments?
My obsession is limited to my health problems and the medical profession.
I have no rituals, I do not count and I can walk away from incomplete work
(though I'd rather not if I can avoid it) without "losing it." I do have a
penchant for using correct grammar & spelling in part because I went to
private school but I will not correct someone else's unless asked to nor
will I object to talking or emailing others because of their mistakes.
I'll notice them, but it won't affect my dealing with them.
I'm constantly ruminating and it is driving me nuts. I am not a danger to
myself in any way because of my obsession.
A few days ago I started and will not try (hard enough) to stop, to
revisit something a therapist said, He told me that I have OCPD and that
"we(the HMO) don't have the resources to treat it."
I then searched the Web and found a local group for OCPD. I wrote the HMO
that, given how easy it was to find this resource, I had to conclude that
he didn't look for it. I didn't cuss or question his integrity. The next
& last time I saw him he said, "I can't tell you about a treatment method
if you don't tell me you want it." That is the comment that I'm
ruminating about now. I believe that he was being defensive about being
criticized because he told me about symptom inducement and I hadn't asked
him about it. He is (was ) full of crap. Because of the depth and breadth
of my health problems, I cannot afford anything but the HMO for long-term
care. I've been outside of it a couple times, but without much success on
the psych side. I have no tolerance for people I need to not try to do
something that common sense shows that they can. None at all. I want to
email him and point out that inconsistency and - his refusal to own his
behavior -- to him. Why? Anger, the vague suspicion that it would make
me feel better, but I know it wouldn't
I've obsessed my entire life but it's never been incapacitating or about a
specific thing or behavior. I am very analytical, have a very active mind
and chew on things from time to time. My returning to the therapist's
comment is a function of despair, anger and coming off another surgery. I
don't know how to stop and as my wife said of her obsessing, "Yes, but
it's so satisfying." I don't like being told that I have a personality
disorder, but, if I do, I do. My first reaction to that diagnosis was a
mistake, that it diminished the degree of what I have to deal with.
Clearly it doesn't.
Questions, comments, whatever.. Thanks
--

I'm not a doctor, but it sounds like you have an anxiety disorder, or
something that falls into the category of anxiety. My therapist described
the problem as a dog chasing its tail. You just go around in circles;
thoughts spinning around a particular subject, problem, ache or pain.
Whatever you have can be resolved if your circular thoughts can be turned
off. This can be done with different therapies and many medications.

What you have is not uncommon, and many people who suffer from anxiety have
medical problems or "think" they have medical problems. You may have to
find a real psychiatrist to get evaluated and get a handle on this, but
there is help out there and don't think you are alone.

Hang in there.

[bobolink]

Questions,  comments, whatever.. Thanks

This seems to be bothering you quite a bit although it seems to me
that you have a "normal" anxious personality, just like several
billions of us in this planet. I am similar to you and was sure there
was something medically wrong with me. I saw therapists and
psychiatrists but "evermore came out the same door where in I went."

If you go to see a psychiatrist you will get medicine. Psychiatrists
do not do talk therapy. Medicine does not work for me. It does work
for others but I think you should at least try some other things
before you go down that road.

I suggest reading some books. I have read that bibliotherapy is as
effective as standard therapy if you put the suggestions in the books
to practice. There are lots of books but two that I found helpful are
"Full catastrophe living" by Jon Kabat-Zinn, which despite its scary
title is a gentle book about mindfulness meditation, and "Feeling
Good: The New Mood Therapy" by David Burns about cognitive therapy.

Look for other books but remember that sometimes we have to accept
things as they are. You worry and ruminate but that is your
personality and probably has resulted in some good things for you.
Don't medicalize it unless it is really bothering you and negatively
affecting your life.

[Mary]

Post by bobolink

Questions, comments, whatever.. Thanks

This seems to be bothering you quite a bit although it seems to me
that you have a "normal" anxious personality, just like several
billions of us in this planet. I am similar to you and was sure there
was something medically wrong with me. I saw therapists and
psychiatrists but "evermore came out the same door where in I went."
If you go to see a psychiatrist you will get medicine. Psychiatrists
do not do talk therapy. Medicine does not work for me. It does work
for others but I think you should at least try some other things
before you go down that road.
I suggest reading some books. I have read that bibliotherapy is as
effective as standard therapy if you put the suggestions in the books
to practice. There are lots of books but two that I found helpful are
"Full catastrophe living" by Jon Kabat-Zinn, which despite its scary
title is a gentle book about mindfulness meditation, and "Feeling
Good: The New Mood Therapy" by David Burns about cognitive therapy.
Look for other books but remember that sometimes we have to accept
things as they are. You worry and ruminate but that is your
personality and probably has resulted in some good things for you.
Don't medicalize it unless it is really bothering you and negatively
affecting your life.

Well said post and similar to the way I think. I would also add to the book
suggestion Bourne's "Anxiety and Phobia Workbook".. I read it quite a while
ago and found it helpful to explain anxiety and medications and therapy and
other suggestions. Books are just guidelines to me and my life never changed
completely because I read a book. It is just not enough for me, but it does
help to understand things. I have read Feeling Good and New Mood Therapy but
they did not find them helpful. Some books affect different people in
different ways the same as reading any book or seeing any movie. Years ago,
I read Claire Weeks book "Hope and Help for your Nerves". She was an
Australian doctor and research scientist and wrote several books on Anxiety
disorders. Her books may be outdated compared to more modern ideas, but the
things she said in her books are as true now as they were then.

Accepting things they way they are has always been one of my stumbling
blocks. It has caused me a lot of frustration in my life. And sometimes I
ruminate too. Rumination can be very annoying and difficult to stop doing.

Mary